Why I Think You Should Write Your Own Vows

Hey hi hello friends! Quick question for you: are you writing your own wedding vows? Want to know why I think you should? I'm going to tell you anyway - feel free to disregard!

Most of you probably know this (I usually reference this when people ask how I started shooting weddings), but I'll say it again: I spent my first year of law practice divorcing people. That was also the year I shot my first wedding. Spending a year ending marriages really made me think about the magnitude of the commitment you make when you say "I do," in large part because of the difficulty of ending it when you need to. Marriages can be really hard to end from a legal perspective (I won't go into detail about that here), but it makes sense: in theory (also yes: there are times when it needs to end), marriages are supposed to be forever, so it should come as no surprise that they're not a walk in the park to end. This is why I encourage couples to write their own vows.

Wait what? You may be wondering what writing your own vows has to do with marriage, forever, and divorce. Hear me out: if you're simply reciting the traditional vows, you don't have much pressure to really think about the words. You're repeating after the officiant, likely in front of an audience, and probably looking forward to cake and champagne (or is that just me?). If you decide to write your own vows, you actually have to sit down and think about what you want to say to your S/O. It gives you a chance to clearly articulate what that commitment means to you, why you picked each other, what you intend to be to and for each other forever, and also a chance to think about the tough stuff you'll likely face together (and how you'll get through it together). I believe this exercise can help you think critically about the commitment you're making and what it means after the party is over (not that you won't think about this stuff if you're not writing your own vows). 

I believe that, while your wedding day should be a celebration, there should be room for contemplation leading up to that day, and writing your own vows is a great way to truly think about what your partner means to you and what you want to be for him/her throughout your lives together. So: who's writing their own vows?

Want more tips, tricks, and my two cents? Check out my thoughts on selecting the right makeup artist here: https://www.keeleymckayphoto.com/blog/?offset=1508609847548 and my advice on preparing for your session here: https://www.keeleymckayphoto.com/planning-preparing-for-your-session/

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TIPS + TRICKS//DETAILS

Brides! Let's talk details. Is it important to you to have those editorial-type detail photos woven throughout your wedding gallery? To some it is, others not so much. Neither is right or wrong and it's completely a matter of personal preference! That being said, if those detail photos are important to you, there are a few things you can do to make sure your photographer is able to get all the the shots you want.

Album by White House Custom Colour

Album by White House Custom Colour

First: make a list ahead of time of all of the details you'd like photos of (this can be as broad or as narrow as you want). Examples include the essentials, such as the rings, jewelry, his tie, watch, and both pairs of shoes, but can also include your flowers, any special pieces that may have been handed down by family members, and your invitation suite.

Second: If you've determined that you would like photos of your invitation suite included in your gallery, be sure to save one set for your photographer.

Ribbon by May Arts Ribbon//Invitations by Hey Tayler Design Co.

Ribbon by May Arts Ribbon//Invitations by Hey Tayler Design Co.

Third: Have all the important details of your day in one place at the time of your photographer's arrival. Also, along these lines, if these editorial-type, detail-specific shots are important to you, make sure you've requested your photographer to arrive early enough to get these photos before you have to put them on!

Fourth: If you want to showcase your bling against the gorgeous, velvety backdrop of your wedding colors, consider purchasing a ring box as part of your detail suite. The Mrs. Box makes beautiful boxes in a wide variety of colors and also offers three different monogram lettering styles to customize your box.

Ring box by The Mrs. Box

Ring box by The Mrs. Box

Little touches like a ring box in your colors can add a curated, designed feel to your gallery.

Ring box by The Mrs. Box//Ribbon by Tono & Co.

Ring box by The Mrs. Box//Ribbon by Tono & Co.

Fifth and finally: Communicate with your photographer! Let him/her know what items are important to you. Hopefully, you will have reviewed your photographer's portfolio prior to hiring him/her so you'll have an idea of how they capture these pieces within their own style and will be fully on board with their process, but if it's important to you to get something specific, just tell him/her - we want to provide you a photographic story of your day that will remind you of all the wonderful elements thereof AND one that you will cherish forever!

Let's talk makeup and spray tans!

Hey ladies! This post is for you: I want to talk about makeup and spray tans as part of your photo session prep. Before we get to that though, we need to talk Photoshop.

One of the most frequently asked questions I get is whether I "Photoshop" a client's photos before delivering. This is always a longer answer than simply "yes" or "no," because when people think Photoshop, they generally think magazine-cover retouching. That's a no ghost rider. But  Ido use Adobe Camera Raw, which is Photoshop's reader for raw images (this is the format that photographers will shoot your session in: raw will store all the data so that the photographer can finalize it according to his/her own style, while JPEG allows the camera to guess at how the final photo should look and discards the remaining data). Using ACR, I am able to pull all your photos onto my computer and make basic corrections to things like exposure, tint, and white balance if needed, and it also lets me manipulate the tones, hues, saturation, etc. to fit my editing style. Once I'm done in ACR, the photo will open in Photoshop, where I will apply any finishing touches if they are needed.

Regarding finishing touches, I operate under a "here today, gone tomorrow" policy when finalizing a photo. I want every image to truly reflect you at your best, so I may edit out minor things such as the occasional blemish (here today, gone tomorrow...or next week) or distractions caused by an awkward angle and lens compression, such as a double chin that isn't generally there. I will not, however, make you look like someone or something you are not. I won't tuck your waist, trim your hips, or give you a thigh gap. I could talk all day about why I won't do this, but that's for another day. Today I want to get back to the minor things like blemishes.

Ladies, I completely understand wanting to look your best for your photos and a day-of zit is a total bummer. Or maybe it's early spring and you're still winter-white. I beg of you though: resist the urge to overdo it on makeup and for the love of all that is good, do NOT get that orange spray tan! If you must, go very light on your color. Here's why:

Have you ever noticed photos where the woman's skin looks orange or muddy or dull? Guess what? More often than not, it looks that way because she was wearing too much makeup or her tan was too thick. The single biggest factor, when it comes to skin tones being clean and glowing or orange and muddy, is light. Makeup and spray tans affect the way the light interacts with your skin, which is read by the camera. Although technology - and Photoshop - are great and can make up for a lot of "oops" moments (like underexposing a photo or messing up the white balance), it cannot completely make up for bad light. Now, you may have great light the day of and your S/O's skin tone may be gorgeous and glowing, but if the light is being absorbed by too much makeup or spray tan, it won't reflect and you won't have the opportunity for truly clean and glowing skin. Similarly, if your lotion or makeup has sunscreen in it, that will affect its appearance in photos as well: the sunscreen will actually reflect too much light and you may lose some detail in your face in those photos, or your face will appear significantly whiter than the rest of you. No bueno!

But what about that damn zit?? Don't stress it! Remember how I said I subscribe to that "here today, gone tomorrow" policy? This is why! I'd much rather you show up with fresh skin or minimal makeup, even if that thing is taking up precious real estate on your beautiful face, than have you try to cover it because it will cost you your skin tone in your photos. If those minor imperfections are truly distracting from the essence of the photo, I'll just "Photoshop" those little buggers out. I'll sacrifice my own bad skin by way of example: 

Here is a side-by-side closeup (this photo was taken by Abby Glover and I edited it quickly for the sake of this post). Both photos are exactly the same, except I have removed the blemishes in the image on the right.   

Here is a side-by-side closeup (this photo was taken by Abby Glover and I edited it quickly for the sake of this post). Both photos are exactly the same, except I have removed the blemishes in the image on the right.   

Here is the full image so you can see what I mean about preserving the skin tones in the context of the image as a whole:

 

See? It's bright, clean, and ghostly white. Per usual.

See? It's bright, clean, and ghostly white. Per usual.

Now let's contrast that with an example of orange/muddy skin tones. In the example below, the direction of the light is a little different, but you can clearly see that my skin looks dull and orange. Too much makeup that day. I knew better, but didn't resist that urge to overdo it.

 

Same editing process, but you can see how much more natural Dylan's skin looks than my own. 

Same editing process, but you can see how much more natural Dylan's skin looks than my own. 

In sum, when it comes to makeup and tanning, less is more! While I do not expect anyone to show up on their wedding day sans makeup, I hope this helps alleviate some of that urge to cover everything or go a coat darker on that spray tan. I promise your natural skin color is beautiful and I can get rid of any pesky zits/discoloration that wouldn't otherwise be there, but  I can't recover naturally glowing skin if it's too far buried! 

If you have any questions about this topic in preparation for your session or your wedding day, I am more than happy to discuss it further!