Why I Think You Should Write Your Own Vows

Hey hi hello friends! Quick question for you: are you writing your own wedding vows? Want to know why I think you should? I'm going to tell you anyway - feel free to disregard!

Most of you probably know this (I usually reference this when people ask how I started shooting weddings), but I'll say it again: I spent my first year of law practice divorcing people. That was also the year I shot my first wedding. Spending a year ending marriages really made me think about the magnitude of the commitment you make when you say "I do," in large part because of the difficulty of ending it when you need to. Marriages can be really hard to end from a legal perspective (I won't go into detail about that here), but it makes sense: in theory (also yes: there are times when it needs to end), marriages are supposed to be forever, so it should come as no surprise that they're not a walk in the park to end. This is why I encourage couples to write their own vows.

Wait what? You may be wondering what writing your own vows has to do with marriage, forever, and divorce. Hear me out: if you're simply reciting the traditional vows, you don't have much pressure to really think about the words. You're repeating after the officiant, likely in front of an audience, and probably looking forward to cake and champagne (or is that just me?). If you decide to write your own vows, you actually have to sit down and think about what you want to say to your S/O. It gives you a chance to clearly articulate what that commitment means to you, why you picked each other, what you intend to be to and for each other forever, and also a chance to think about the tough stuff you'll likely face together (and how you'll get through it together). I believe this exercise can help you think critically about the commitment you're making and what it means after the party is over (not that you won't think about this stuff if you're not writing your own vows). 

I believe that, while your wedding day should be a celebration, there should be room for contemplation leading up to that day, and writing your own vows is a great way to truly think about what your partner means to you and what you want to be for him/her throughout your lives together. So: who's writing their own vows?

Want more tips, tricks, and my two cents? Check out my thoughts on selecting the right makeup artist here: https://www.keeleymckayphoto.com/blog/?offset=1508609847548 and my advice on preparing for your session here: https://www.keeleymckayphoto.com/planning-preparing-for-your-session/